Curious

Seriously, I am really curious of the 3 people -from Puchong, Bandar Maharani and Petaling Jaya- who have been reading this blog....

How on earth did you guys find it??
I am assuming the 3 of you are people who know me and love me so much that you guys decided to STALK me all the way here...LOL
Yea, i'm that perasan. *haha*

Anyway, since you all found it...
Happy reading my private life and thoughts.
Though I don't think i'll be posting anything too private here from now on....
Unless.... you guys tell me who you are!!!!
LOL

Yes! this is a threat!!!!! .. k la... im not that bad.
But would be nice to know you 3 who have been faithfully dropping by.

Have fun reading!!! (i mean my posts only.... LOL)


p.s. just in case you guys didnt know, this is Richard's blog... does not exactly belong to me.

Post card

Thanks for the post card, it was a pretty cool post card.

So it's now end of March. Time flies, and sometimes they don't.

But no matter what, it can never be turned back. So live our life to the fullest, and appreciate those love ones around us, especially when they're still around.

Anyway, will see you "soon".

Pride again?

Helped Ren move house today...Took us two trips with 3 cars to completely move everything out. His house was pretty nice. Like a motel. Pretty comfy and neat.

Soccer in the evening with the dudes. It's been a while since I played soccer. So after a while I started panting. I think I was way fitter couple years back.

Highlights of the day ? Arguing with my younger sister. Arguments between my sister are getting seriously annoying these days. It has been since a while that I got so pissed at her. It was arguments over something small but turned big. You know those arguments where it starts with a comment and then it gets worst n worst ? At one point, I think I was talking over the top of my voice in the car. But after thinking about it, I think it could be due to my pride combining with her itchy mouth. My younger and sister and me have been on good and bad terms since we were young. Jilian on the other hand, has less issues with me. Sigh..Looks like I got a bit to work on if I need to turn where we're heading around. First thing's first...pride.


Just like the proud Vegata in dragon ball XD

struggling

I admit that I'm still struggling at some stuff these days...

But it was so much better than before. But still I need to really lean on God and ask him to help and teach me. These thoughts still comes and goes every once in a while. Knowing that God's in control and He's got the best for me. I'm still a little afraid and anxious, but it's much more better than before. I guess it's a process. Nothing changes overnight just like *snap*.

I don't know how it was like before cause it was never given to me in detail. But I am preparing myself to expect the worst the day I am confronted in detail. Not that I don't trust, I trust you so much. It's just that I need to teach myself that there is so much more than these things bothering me. It is a process and hopefully I'm getting there.

So help me Holy Spirit in this process, of trusting You and knowing what it means. I know what I have to do...But I need a bit of help here Buddy.

Heart's Desire

Tonight, Richard shared with me about prayer...
He shared how one's heart's desires is so important when it come to praying.
The person who shared for house bible tonight too, shared about desires.
I had some thoughts just after chatting with Richard.

For all that I have prayed about wanting to serve,
Am I saying so to bring Him Glory and Honor??
or am i just praying so cause it's what every christian should be pray for?

Am I asking God for His wisdom and knowledge so that His name would be lifted up high?
or have i just been praying for that so people would look up to me and I do not want to let them down?

What are your heart's desires when you pray those prayers that you do?



Wanna thank Richard for being such an awesome guy AGAIN... Really do appreciate you and all that you've done. Thanks for thinking for me. Thanks for putting my studies ahead of our chat time. Just wanna say, you have been a blessing to me. =)

long day ...

So another long but productive day at work. Gay msn suddenly stopped working properly so all I can see at the moment is only 10 out of my 300+ friends.

As I lie on my bed resting, I kinda thought of where am I heading with life. It's still quite foggy in front. I don't know exactly where am I going yet. There's too many factors to be think about...

Tired of thinking, I just thought all I wanted right at that moment was to chill with a friend. But there's only so much msn and technology can do...

I guess being far apart is indeed hard.

patients...

5 factors!

so what are the five factors of attractions according to a psychology student?

1) Difference:
2) Similarities:
3) Frequency and proximity
4) reciprocity
5) Appearance

Had a random thought when I was finished church this morning. By the way, I had a sudden promotion today cause one of the guys couldn't make it in time for practise. So I thank God for the privilege to be serving on main keys. Anyway, back to the 5 factors....

I was thinking, could it be the reason why I am attracted to God be related to 5 factors too ? it's quite random but i'm gonna chuck it here anyway. Firstly Difference:

I think I'm so different to God. He is so pure and holy and mighty, while I on the other hand am a sinner that is saved by Him because he is mighty to be save. I sometimes think of being served while He who is the King of kings and Lord of lords humbly came to the earth to serve us!

Similarity:
The bible said we were all created in the image in God.
Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. - (Gen. 1:26-27)
To be like someone means you possess many, but not all of the characteristics of that person. Obviously, man does not possess God's omnipotence, wisdom, righteousness, perfection, ability to create, and divineness. But unlike plants and animals, we have soul..We are spiritual beings created in His image! We have the freedom to choose.We have wisdom like him but only like a drop in the ocean of his infinite wisdom.Also, we have love and compassion which is because he first love us.

Frequency and proximity:
As we spend more time to read His word and spending time in presence, we create this continually blossoming relationship with the Mighty One. We grow more and be molded into his image each day! Like a girl friend and boy friend, obviously the more time you spend with that person, the more you get to know and understand how beautiful that person is!

reciprocity:
I was told reciprocity means that the more person A like person B and show it to them, the higher chance person B will be attracted to person A. Well, it was because Jesus demonstrated his love to us first, that when we experience more of His love and grace, we end up loving him more too! And to experience his love, the very first step that is needed is simply by just accepting Him into your life and walking with Him daily.

Appearance:
What more to say but just that He is beautiful beyond description...


Just a random thought....lol.

Serving "Together"

I just realize that Richard and I will both be serving at the same time this Sunday. Richard would be worship director for the night service at Habourside and I would be worship leading at Life Solution.

LOL..this is totally random. I just felt happy that even though we are thousands of miles apart, yet we are still able to serve our God 'together'.

Father, I pray that You would continue to use us and mold us to do great and mighty things for Your glory. AMEN! =)

W leader?

First time worship leading in life group after soooo many years. I think the last time was probably back in malaysia during my youth group when I was around 15 years ago. Time flies and now I'm already 23 years old. I have definitely grown...but in terms of worship leading...I dunno...

After the worship I felt that I wasn't as good as leading the guys as I thought I could be. I had too much on my mind that I couldn't really focus on your spirit leading.Felt more like another one of those worship regular play it through worship moments. I prayed for You to really come into our midst and Your presence just fall upon us so strongly there that we experience Your sweet Glory, people get healed, the unsaved get saved, the broken relationships restored. ..... I guess my preparations wasn't enough as I started last night. So forgive me .I'll try better next time when I get the chance pushing on to be a better leader

update

I guess I have been seriously busy the pass few days. So I guess I should be updating my blog with the things that I have been up to the pass few days.

Firstly, camp was awesome. Met lots of people and did a lot of man activities. The site was fantastic. Flying fox, go-carts, archery, confidence course etc. However also got into some trouble like reversing and got into a minor accident with Richard Kahguar. But it was just bearly a scratch fortunately.

Joined a course called Valiant man which teaches us guys how to be a man after God's heart. That's all I can say unfortunately since I've signed an agreement not to say more than that =p

Been working for the pass two days. I believe I'm gonna love working there for the whole year. Lots of great and smart people on my team. I love it. Though today all I did was read and study schematics cause my supervisor Chris was too busy today with meetings.

Had an argument with friend of mine who works with me in the same company. I think both of us have stuff we should both work on individually. One thing as a guy I should probably stop doing is being so sensitive to people's blunt comments. So mold me more like you Yahweh.

Thanks

Was spending some time with God this morning and was praying about some things concerning what I wrote in the previous post. It was at this time I remembered an encouragement given to me by Richard last night.

This was what he said:
"I was thinking about you leading worship.. i guess as long as you have the heart and just faithfully do your best in leading them in worship... I think God would be proud of you, and me too. The rest is up to God to intervene. But just do you best."

Thank Richard!! For reminding me that it's the heart that counts and not the results we hope to see or get. I am reminded that it does not mean that if i don't see people lifting up their hands then it must mean that God is not working. God works in many ways. God works in ways we cannot see.

Thanks.. hehe.

Realization

I was supposedly reading my Developmental Psych text book when I started to really think of some of the reasons why I have not been able to settle in Life Solution.

One of the major reasons I realized was because I couldn't be myself in Life Solution. The pastor and some of my friends in Life Solution- who has known me since my time in Church of Praise- have sort of expected me to act and behave in certain ways. For example, I was known to be the quite one, the serious one, the one who is always available to serve, the one who doesn't play much.

But the thing is, I have changed over the years. As I think back, a few of them were a little shocked when I added some lame jokes during conversations. I could tell they weren't use to me telling lame jokes. I played football with Veryn and a few other people a few months back and Pastor told me he was shocked to see me play. Little things like this, made me pull back. I don't laugh as much or talk as much as I would if I was in Revival Center. It made me wanna live up to their 'expectation' or rather impression of me. I hardly am able to be who I am: the me that I've become today.

I guess that is why I haven't been able to click with anyone in Life Solution. I have been there for slight more than 6 months (not including the time i was back in Malaysia) and have not found someone to be close to. I find it hard cause I can't be that bubbly side of me. No one is use to it and somehow the atmosphere gets really weird when I try.I tried, I really did.

I would say this made me wanna leave. I wanna go somewhere that I can just be me. Not having to live the me when I was back in JB. Not that it was bad. It's just that I changed. I wanna go somewhere that I can start anew; start fresh.

Mum is concerned about me not serving, not availing myself for God to use. I have only visited churches for the pass 2 weeks. So far I have no decided on anything yet. I am still praying about it too. I know it's important to serve, but I really do not want to serve just for the sake of serving. I somehow lost that fire in me. I tried to bring a little more energy into the worship sessions but every time I did, people just did not respond as I expect. Is clapping hands that hard? Is lifting your hands during worship that hard? I got a little dishearten by the worship atmosphere in church. If pastor was around, things aren't that bad. It isn't hard to tell that when pastor isn't around, very few would respond to worship. I use to question whether or not I was the cause they were not as enthusiastic about worship. I had compliments but I still wasn't satisfied. I wasn't happy to see people not responding. Maybe it's just me and my high expectations. But if the Holy Spirit was moving, why aren't people responding? Have I limit responding to merely lifting of hands? I was asked to worship lead during YA camp, and I enjoyed it! It was different. I knew the Holy Spirit was moving and I could see people responding.

Anyway, I thought taking 2 months of the roster would be a better idea. Pray along with me. I really wanna find a church that I can settle in. Be it Life Solution or another church. Somewhere I can serve with joy and also make some close friends. Somewhere I am free to be myself.

Men's camp

So I'll be heading off to the men's camp soon and will be back on Sunday. Will be part of the worship team there and I think its gonna be a awesome 2 days there! Pray that Your presence will be so strong there and we will just learn from you how to be better and greater men and leaders. It's gonna be exciting !

I also realised that ai has been sounding a bit weird since last night. Dunno what's wrong, or it could just be me. I'm guessing maybe because she misses her dog that passed away ,Annie...Hope she'll feel better very soon. Will miss her for the weekend but in a way it could be good so that we don't get too used to it. A bit of stretching is always good :D

Anyway , gotta head off to meet a friend of mine I haven't seen in ages. Have a good weekend :D

Rants

Just felt like ranting somewhere...
and i thought i would just ABUSE the little bit of 'power' Richard gave me over this blog.

Anyway, he gets to edit anything he doesn't like! -.-lll
So he can remove this at the end of the day if he wants.

Feel so tired today.... Thursdays!!!!!
sigh... feel so lifeless..
It's like all my energy has been drained out of me.
Tried studying but failed miserably,
I ended up staring at my book instead.
Arghhhh........

I miss Annie.... =(

I got so bored..
I started counting the days till someone comes to melb.
105 days
I also counted the days till I get to go back to Malaysia.
125 days

I wish time flew a little faster now...
But first, am gonna have to study real hard before I enjoy my short break.

STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you

Today when I woke up thinking "flip....its almost time for my interview..Have never gone for a formal interviews before..but hopefully it goes well."

Then as I was about to leave I got a few text from friends giving me words of encouragement, wishing me good luck and telling me that they have been praying for me through text and msn ( btw it was 8am in the morning). So I was grateful for it.

I felt calm this morning for some reason. Just before I left I just went through facebook to check if any my friends knew the interviewer.lol! cheeky right. As I found out that my ocf senior Jono and him were good friends, Jono appeared online on msn! what a coincidence?! or was it God intervening lol... Jono told me the interviewer is a really nice guy and easy to talk to. So it totally brought me to complete peace...

The interview when really well! All the questions that came out were easy to answer and I believe that I gave them impressive response. (I even brought my final year project pictures to show them....lol..my friend said that was a good move).
and guess what, as soon as I got back and started typing this blog to praise Him for blessing me with good interviewers, I received a call saying that I got the job! WOW... how amazing is that...Glory to God (G2G)

I will be starting next week on Monday working two or three days each week alternatively. Pay is not bad , $18.86/hour. This part time job means that I can look for another job that I may enjoy working in. My friend brought me around the company and I believe it's one of the biggest companies that I've even been to.

Finally, there's one special friend that I want to show my appreciation. The person who wrote that cheeky post below this. She has been amazing to me. She even woke up 6.30am this morning to tell me that she will be praying for me. So I just want to say a special thank you to you too.... Thank you Ai.

So....

Richard has gone for his interview at Fisher and Paykel Health Care. I prayed and hopefully things go well. Am pretty sure he would do just fine...

Just as long as he goes in for the interview like this:

And not this:

LOL

Am sorry.. I just had too...LOL
Though I think you'd be taking your revenge really soon,
remember what God said k?
Revenge belongs to Him!
hahahaha
Just Kidding.

p.s. I just received an sms from Richard saying the interview went well. Now, let's pray he gets the job! =)

The Golden Rule

"Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets."
Matthew 7:12

I read that in many religions it is stated negatively: "Don't do to others what you don't want done to you." By stating positively, Jesus made it more significant. Because I believe it is not very hard to refrain from harming others and it is more harder in taking initiative to do something good to them.

I've got 2 sisters, one older and younger. The older one I find quite easy to hang out with. But somehow the younger sister (which I still love) sometimes annoy the crap out of me, even occasionally these days! The amount of big and small fights we have is countless. The incident I remembered the most is the time when we were in high school where we were arguing so much that she wanted to slam the door on me and I tried to resist her closing the door....Only to realised that we accidentally made a hole in the wall after that! LOL..(cost us NZD50 to fix it up and mum wasn't pleased! XD )..

Anyway, I should really remember that it always take two to clap (though I still think that there are lots of time that I'm in the right! lol...must be my male ego, that I have to start working on).
And it should be normally the same for all us.

But this verse spoke to me today...and I'll consume it, pray that I'll slowly change into an image of more like God.

Interview preparation

2 days before my formal interview...
n I think I'm shitting my pants..lol...
which reminds me of the game....


u can play the game on this link =p
http://www.kongregate.com/games/Rete/dont-shit-your-pants#

anyway spending today and tomorrow to prepare for the interview...Hopefully it goes well. First time going for a formal interview....!
ps: youtube seems like a great source to learn how to prepare for an interview.

Hold On Tight

It's going to be an exciting and thrilling journey...
I can feel it in my bones!!!
Feel the adrenaline rush through your veins!!
LOL

*cheers*

Teach me...

I woke up from a nice dream thinking,
"wow, this is something",
until suddenly my mind was filled,
by the things of the pass,
bittering the delicious dream,
that I seldom have.

Help me Lord,
to forgive,
as you have forgiven us sinners on earth.

Teach me Lord,
how to love,
for love is kind, does not envy, is not self-seeking, keeps no record of wrongs, always hopes, and always perseveres.

Teach me Lord,
to trust you with our futures,
for you have a plan for each and every1 of us.

Help me Lord,
to commit those thoughts to you,
for I do not want a jealous and broken heart.

Help me Lord,
to know that you are working in us,
and working though us.

Remind us Lord,
that you are always loving us,
and always want the best for us.

Finally,
remind me Lord,
that unlike You,
we are all not perfect beings...

Thank you Mr J.

Guess what ... Got a call from Fisher n paykel health care today. Guess I'll be having an interview on Wednesday 10.30am. Is God a job provider or wat... lol. Anyway I'll be working hard for this interview since I haven't really got any serious formal interviews before.

For night service tonight, Pastor Paul shared on stepping up from a servant of God to a child of God in the worship team. Having more ownership etc etc. But the highlight for me was the presence of God moving through us during worship and also when Paul honoured me and another family by giving us each a present (Michael Jackson's DVD!) for our 'great' attitude in serving. So I was pretty blessed today. =D

need a job again

I need a job again..
If not I'm gonna to continue to grow more mold at home.
So God plz chuck me a good job with good pay so I can start saving up and also pay up my debt !

=D

PORTA ?!

While trying to build my own electronic dice, I spent so long wondering why in the world can't my PORTA not work properly on my PIC16F887... n after a WHILE.... realised that I had to chage it to digital since portA is normally default as an analog pin...(and also forgot to disable my analog)

http://www.mikroe.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=12981

void main() {
PORTA = 0; // Initialize PORTA
TRISA = 0; // Configure PORTA as output
ADCON1 = 6; // Changes PORTA to digital
CMCON = 7; // Disable analog comparators

while(1) {
PORTA = ~PORTA; // toggle PORTA
Delay_ms(1000); // one second delay
}
}

such a waste of time................. :(

Tugged

This is the exact moment I fell tugged...
Tugged by the string of wisdom.

As much as I wanna fly,
As much as I wanna soar,
As much as I wanna go with the wind,
I know I'm better off being tugged by the string of wisdom.

It's all good. The strain I'm feeling is good.
It's for the best.

It's only with the string that we would truly fly, and soar like eagles.
Father, guard our hearts I pray, for you know what's best.

Change...

Got to remember the agreed status we are in at the moment and change the way I'm treating my friend so that I can guard our hearts.

Probably just a reminder, but you are not tight to me in anyway and should be free to engage anything with anyone that you wish.

Thanks for that article. Gave it some deep thought and will do my best to change.



Ps: Thanks Sui Li.

Lyrics

It's still kinda raw and incomplete...
But here's what I've got so far:

Verse
Humbly I come
I give myself to You
.........
........

Chorus
It's by Your blood
It's by Your love, grace and mercy
It's when I call upon Your name
That I stand here unashamed