special

Woke up from a dream this morning and I had a thought...

I wondered if someone can be special in a relationship compared to the other guys in the previous relationship...Cause I think no matter which relationship one was in, the other party was always special, if not it wouldn't have started...so is it possible to be special?

I found out more about myself last night, what kind of person I am.

I know that I'm special in the eyes of God, very. But I realised that I also want to be special in the eyes of my loved ones, I think we all do.

But how special is special? In terms of being in a relationship, can we really be special ? especially if there were previous ones...cause if everyone was special, then the meaning of special loses it relativity and juice...

random thoughts very early in the morning, might look back and think what i'm saying is crap....LOL

Hehe

this made me wonder.. is this the reason why u were so happy last night?

you knew i was going to get it today??

Anyway, thanks a lot for the book!!!

was encouraged by your note in it too.. =)

thanks, thanks, thanks, THANKS!!!

LOL

I've got some serious catching up to do.. so much reading.

academic and non-academic materials. 

20 mins post

It has been 5 months since I first got to know you..
or rather since you first saw me
(since I never did get to talk to you on the first day).
LOL

Sometimes I wonder how did we even make it this far?
I would have never thought I would be able to accept the fact that you are thousands of miles away.
but I did.
We did.

Still think you're the awesome guy I said you were...
(though you might have some pride issues going on =P)
Thank you so much for just accepting me...
(or at least i know you're trying your best)
Thanks for not giving up...
Thanks for giving it your ALL!!!






Just wanted to let you and the WHOLE WIDE WORLD (sorta like my small little world) know that I care.
I wanna thank God for you in my life.



p.s. i had 20 mins before i had to start with my assignment again. so i thought of just posting something here...
=)

Proverbs 31

I was talking to mum today after church about something random that happened today.

I was talking to a guy in church whom I hardly know. He asked me if i was the guy playing keys during the men's camp. I said "yes".

Then he asked me how old I was.
I said "23."

The weird thing came when he said that I was probably looking out for a partner.LOL.
I said " huh ?"

He asked me to open proverbs 31 and read it because that was how God spoke to him the day he proposed to his wife 30+ years ago (it was kinda random btw talking about this especially since its the first time we met)

After telling this to mum. She laughed at me, saying: " you better open your ears wide. God is speaking to you...."

I won

Today marks a special day in my life...

Today when the thoughts came to me, that's when I realised that the enemy's attack was ineffective against me! Even though there's still a slight pinch of disappointment, I have come to realised that I have won the battle. I have!!! I really have =D

It did not shake me,
it did not harm me,
it did not hurt me.
I'm free....

The fiery darts of the wicked was useless against the spiritual armor that God has blessed me with. Today is a day worth remembering, that I have conquered victory through the name of Jesus Christ! All the falling and standing up again was worth it. It was worth every spiritual muscle attempt to fight.

Last Saturday, I told you I would get here. And guess what ? I DID...
There is definitely power in the name of Jesus...
I wanna thank the people around me who has helped me.
but mainly, God.

Thank you

I was just sitting down just now quietly,
when I look back at time, realizing how much I've changed,
mentally and spiritually after meeting you.
You have helped me in my walk with God and at the same time,
mature my mind so much.

So I just wanna say:

Thank you for the encouragements,
Thank you for the wise advises,
Thank you for the patients,
Thank you for your honesty,seriously,
Thank you for your transparency,
Thank you for your sincerity,
Thank you for the gifts,
Thank you for being there for me,
Thank you for fulfilling my brownie points request,LOL,
Thank you for not abusing yours (=p)
Thank you for your time and sacrifices,
Thank you for understanding,
And finally, Ai, thank you for just being you...

ARG.......

OMG...felt like a complete moron tonight. I forgot that it was Ai's exam tomorrow and was talking to her for solid good 2 or more hours. She could have reminded me and tell me that she needed to study but she didn't. Arg... Anyway prayed she does well tomorrow. I've gotta remember that I'm not studying anymore and remember exam dates..ARGgggGGg..........

Thank you Lord

It's been a few days... I'm getting there.
I sleep better and I smell the scent of victory.
For one thing I know, is that God has been with me through out.
Whenever the thoughts come, I feel that it doesn't affect me as much as it used to.
Even if it does, there is power in the name of God.
I cling on desperately to Him, not letting go of his promise that God has a plan us.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Whatever we are going through right now, I believe that God is molding our character into more like His image. And I thank God for that. Today when I woke up, I checked my email to find the word of today from the vine was very encouraging. I'll just paste it down here for your and my own reference in the future.

How To Get Over Your Past
They shall obtain joy and gladness; sorrow and sighing shall flee away.
Isaiah 51:11 NKJV

All of us have chapters we wish we could rewrite. Dr Harold Bloomfield says, 'Unresolved emotional pain wreaks havoc on your immune system, cardiac function, hormone levels, and other physical functions. We must make peace with our past because our life may literally depend on it.' To get over your past you must, first, run on sentence here

start looking at it differently. Reframe it. Ask, 'How did it make me stronger? What do I know now that I didn't know then?' Don't focus on what you lost, but on what you gained. Second, understand the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is feeling bad about what you've done - it's healthy; shame is feeling bad about who you are - it's toxic and debilitating. All of us have things we'd like to change about ourselves, but when God created us He said, '… it was very good… ' (Genesis 1:31 NKJV), so start seeing yourself as He sees you. Third, stop punishing yourself with the 'if only's'. After stumbling badly and having God pick him up, David wrote, 'Happy is the person whose sins are forgiven… whom the Lord does not consider guilty… ' (Psalm 32:1-2 NCV). Forgive yourself; God has. Because He sees you through the cross, you are 'accepted' (Ephesians 1:6 NKJV). Finally, move from pain to gain. Healing takes time, so expect some anger, fear and sadness. Don't disown them; they're part of the process. But don't adopt them either; know when it's time to move on. You can't walk backwards into the future, and the future God has in mind contains more happiness than any past you can remember.

Behold, I make all things new.
Revelation 21:5 NKJV

Your past can either be an albatross around your neck, or the wind beneath your wings. So, run on sentence

accept what happened. If you don't, you'll keep reliving it. While working in the Congo as a missionary, Helen Roseveare was brutally raped. Writing about it she says, 'I must ask myself, "Can I thank God for trusting me with this experience, even if He never tells me why?"' The secret of trust doesn't lie in answers; it lies in acceptance. It's knowing that in the midst of whatever has happened, is happening or will happen, God is in control. Either you fix your mind on that and determine to live again, or go through life feeling like you never got a fair shake. Then, you must bury the past or live with its ghosts. Rehashing old hurts is like watching the same movie over and over, hoping for a different ending. It's not going to happen! Learn from it and move on. You don't drown by falling into the water, you drown by staying there. Get out of the blame game. Blame is a waste of time. When you blame yourself you multiply guilt, chain yourself to the past, and increase your already low self-esteem. When you blame God you cut yourself off from His power, doubt replaces trust, and you put down roots of bitterness that make you cynical. When you blame others you add to the distance between them and you, and lose the only option that works - forgiveness. Instead, trust the One who promised to 'make all things new', and move forward.

I need you

Lord, I need You....

Please help me.... I lean completely on you.

You are my strength...

I declare victory in the name of Jesus.

Answer to the Riddle

Anyway, no one tried answering the riddle i posted...
A bit saddening.
LOL

It's wasn't a lame one...
It really did make sense.

Samantha's daughter was ANNA! =)

The battle

Yesterday will be the day I will remember for the rest of my life...

I have never experience such pain inside me before but I thank God for this test because I know that when we are weak, He is STRONG. It is through these kind of test, that we either fall away from God, or draw deeper into Him.

I promise God and Shannon that I will do my best to fight a battle that just started inside of me. I can sense it so strongly inside me. Devil and his army vs Jesus and His angels. And to do this I would require strength from our God and completely submitting to Him.

The first round of the battle has just started last night. It was probably around 4am in the morning that I couldn't take it anymore and dropped down on my knees, crying out to Jesus to help me fight this battle. I can't do this alone, at least not with my own might. I need to be strong, so that you can lean on me and depend on me to help you carry your weight too. I know that I can do it, because if God for us, who can be against us ?

I also feel that somehow the devil is using this trick to wear me and probably other people down. He knows that I have to serve in Church both morning service and night service on the worship team. He is desperate to find a hole in the church where he can come and cause destruction and prevent the mighty works of the Lord. And deep down me, I feel that he's trying to do it through me as I believe that I'm drawing deeper and deeper into God each day, and that's when the devil gets agitated and starts his plan to deceive me.But I also know that our God is Almighty and above all things, and that I can rely completely on Him to fight this battle.... and win.

If you can I'm asking you to join me in prayer, for the empowerment of God's wisdom and strength into my life, that by putting on the full armor of God and resisting all attacks from the devil and fighting for His name, we can rejoice to see the dark one defeated, and our Lord Jesus lifted high in victory.

Thank you for the present II

Hey, I just got home from work after struggling through the major traffic ( which took me an hour and a half to get back today for some reason ) when I found a parcel lying on my table...

Excited like any person would be getting a parcel, I opened it up and surprise surprise, I found a book by Joshua Harris , called "Dug Down Deeper" ordered by Shannon for me.

Here, I wanna thank you for even thinking of buying another copy of this book for me. Knowing that you have been saving up and yet willing to get this present touched me. I believe this book is gonna be an interesting book to read. So all I wanna say is

"THANKS!"

Ps: thanks for the sweet note too.

Riddles

I know i said i'll try cut down on my post entries here....
but i cannot tahan d... *HAHA*
You're not updating..
so i just thought i'll post something random...
and also it's cause I'm bored.
LOL


kk... try this:

Samantha has a really bright 3 year old daughter. Samantha was so proud of her daughter's ability to spell her own name backwards that she couldn't stop telling everyone how bright her daughter is.

What was her daughter's name?

Miracles and Directions

I was watching the LIVE broadcast of Saddleback Church service this morning and Pastor Rick Warren happened to speak on miracles and directions.

He made a few points in his message but here's what i remembered:

1) Whatever I need more of.... I give it to God
~ I need more time...... I'll give more time to God
~ God doesn't look at the amount... He compares what you gave to what you've kept.

2) Whatever I have less of... I give it to God
~ I don't have much money.... I'll give it to God
~ miracle happens when I am able to give what I do not have

3) I don't give to get a blessing, I give to be a blessing.


Elijah obeyed God even when he thought it didn't make sense, even when he felt it was illogical. God blessed Elijah with miracles after miracles because he obeyed. When God directs He also provides... He doesn't just leads us somewhere and leaves us there to struggle on our own.

Isaiah 55:8 & 9
For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways.

Often times when we get stuck, or aren't sure of where to go.. we start planning.. thinking that maybe our plan will work out. And when God do lead us.. we start questioning and say "Lord, this doesn't make any sense!"

Father, I acknowledge that Your ways are higher than mine. And even when it doesn't make sense to me that you're opening up a door for me in a larger church (with more people and what i assume to have lesser needs) when I think I can do more in a smaller church, I am still gonna trust in You that You've got something planned.

Even when it doesn't make sense to me that You've brought me to Monash just to have me wait for 6 to 8 months before continuing my studies, I am still gonna acknowledge that Your ways are higher than mine.

Even when it doesn't make sense to me and I can't see how things are gonna work out, I am still gonna walk by faith cause You've lead here.

Father, command and I shall obey even if it doesn't make sense to me at all.

Homemade crappy Power supply

Today woke up feeling better after my lost wallet the previous night...

Was thinking what to do today to make me feel even better...And I savage a computer power supply from chung's computer to make it my own personal lab power supply ...

Not the best looking power supply out there.. but it does the job. Failed attempt to place an extra LED to light up when it's on (it got fell inside lol and I was too lazy to open it again) .. you can see it in the random hole hahaha...The switch on the other hand was shaky was again does the job...

lost wallet.....

Sigh... Just another one of those bad days...

Came back from the gym and found out that I couldn't find my wallet.

Went around looking for it...and my conclusion is that it's most likely that I dropped it on the way from the gym entrance to my car...

So i'm pretty gutted right now :( Sigh.....

I want my wallet back ......

oops

Somehow Mei Yen come to my room....

She read my previous posts...

and I realised I only wrote not so good stuff about her....

I apologize to make you sound worst that what you are ! hehehe...

So even though u annoy me and drive me up the wall (vice versa), you're still my little cute sister.

Whom I treasure and love.



Hehehehe......

Options

Lots to think about and pray for...

Should i just go sign up for the course and be a ABA therapist?
I think i should...
but i can't seem to find the link Joy told me.
Shall go ask her again this Saturday.
Oh, I've got the green light to go observe this Saturday.
Let's see how things work out. =)

Visitor

Joy Ooi is coming over later....
She was my tutor back in first year at HELP university college.
I knew her father - Pastor Ronald Ooi a few years back from church.
Small world right....
Joy is now attending City Life and is in charge of a network alongside her husband- Ken.

Anyway, this is the first time after months of being in melbourne that I'm having a friend come over. Her call kinda made my day.. hehe

She wanted to drop by to catch up a little...
Maybe I'll get the answer to my prayer today. =)

Randoms

Feel so stupid tonight.... have no idea why it happen.
sorry.... and Thanks for everything.

Just had a really random thought...
I wanna adopt a dog from spca.
but i don't think i can afford to feed it what more bring it to the vet for injections.

Still praying about which church to settle in..

One down 2 more to go for this month.. the heaviest one up ahead!
*gulps*

I don't want....

I don't want to be forgetful....

I dislike it myself....
how can I be reliable if I am...?

Easter Holidays...

So here are some pictures of what my family and I did , as promised:

This mum and my sister's friend stomping grapes at a wine exhibition: hehehe....Mum wanted it so she could put it on facebook =p


The rest was Henry Seele from planetshakers leading in our church. Had the privilege to serve along side him and Pastor Paul during this Easter. Henry's an amazing worshiper and singer.

Lame joke

Make sure you don't cheat! At least try!!

What's black white black white black white black white black white........???



















































a penguin rolling down the stairs..... hehe.
lame.. i know =P

Why did He have to suffer??

Another friend and me did this song 4 years ago when we were in OCF. It's a fantastic song telling a story about the crucifixion of Christ on the cross from the view of a young girl observing the it. Simply reminds me of the pain Jesus had to go through just so show how much He love us and also to save us by giving us the gift of eternal life.

So I just wanna thank Him for all that He has done for me. I was discussing with a friend why did Jesus have to suffer THAT much for us? Why couldn't God just let him die a much more simpler death? Why did Christ have to be whipped (39 times?) terribly, placed with a crown thorns ,mocked and disgraced !

So what was discussed was that it was through such violent tortures that we understand how terrible of a magnitude our sins are and how full of God's love is for us. God laid our sins on each beating that He had to suffer. In the old testament, people would bring sacrifices to the alter and lay their hands on them and confess their sins so they could be forgiven as commanded by God.

In the sacrifice of Jesus, men were not coming to confess their sins. Rather, sinners were laying their sins upon Jesus by whipping, beating, bruising and piercing His body. God’s truly unsearchable love for us is revealed in that Jesus was willing, and God the Father was willing, to allow our sins to be laid upon Him.

The punches, the beating, the thorns in the head, the mocking, the spitting upon, the whipping and scourging, the rejection, the cries for His death and all the horror of His final hours were necessary to lay upon Him all our sins. We see in this the violence of our own sins upon the life of one who was innocent.

Besides that, the violence also shows the love of God for us. As the Apostle Paul writes, “Scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:7-8).

Why did Jesus have to suffer? He had to suffer to make us whole. He had to be broken down so we could be built up. He had to be slain so we could have eternal life. He took upon Himself all the devastating effects of sin with all its violence so that we could know the peace of forgiveness and the joy of salvation. He did that so we could understand how much He loves us and also bear our terrible sins.

Good friday

Today after church I was thinking how do we find out each year what day is good friday? I have always been confused, and thought it falls at the first friday of April. After searching on good o' Google, I found some codes to actually calculate it! lol. What I found was that since Easter is based on the passover,the passover is based on the moon (The Hebrew calendar is lunar).The passover will always fall on the first full moon of spring.

Here are the codes:
***********************************************************************************
public static DateTime EasterSunday(int year)
{
int day = 0;
int month = 0;

int g = year % 19;
int c = year / 100;
int h = (c - (int)(c / 4) - (int)((8 * c + 13) / 25) + 19 * g + 15) % 30;
int i = h - (int)(h / 28) * (1 - (int)(h / 28) * (int)(29 / (h + 1)) * (int)((21 - g) / 11));

day = i - ((year + (int)(year / 4) + i + 2 - c + (int)(c / 4)) % 7) + 28;
month = 3;

if (day > 31)
{
month++;
day -= 31;
}

return new DateTime(month, day, year);
}
***********************************************************************************

April Fools

So guess what, it's april's fool today! When I got to church today a little late, pastor Dan Paikea was seen to be comforting Amy steel who is the Pastor Martin's daughter. What I found out was that Amy was crying before ,falling into one of Dan's april fool's attempts. He said that Anna called this morning telling him that she's pregnant.(Anna's one of the youth girl). She also blames Amy Steel for herself getting pregnant cause she was never there for her. (Amy steel is the youth leader of Wired and she's on fire for God). So Amy started to cry when she heard that. poor thing. lol. You should have seen Pastor Dan's face when she started crying!

So today I was helping out Pastor Dan again to compile a booklet for the some of the drug involved kid's parents. After dropping it to a shop to be binded, I left home thinking who would be my target for this wonderful day....Obviously, it had to be Ai.

The first thing that came to me was "accident"! lol. I texted her telling that I've got into a road accident and that i'm awaiting my stiches to be done in the ward. Bless her soul, she was so worried for me :D (makes me feel special lol) and called up to see if i was alright. At the end of the conversation with my attempt to make it as real as possible, I whispered under my voice "happy april fools"...guess what she replied? She said "oh ok..happy april fools" and then after a short moment said " WHAT?!" ...hahaha.

Happy April fools.